Patrick's Soapbox

This morning at 4am a member of the public called in. This is fairly usual (as it is my job and all), and I'm as courteous as you might expect me to be. The conversation goes along the lines of

Can I ask you a question?

That depends, try me.

What papers do I need to be adopted by host-mother?

Now seriously. Let me remind you it's 4am. How crazy do you have to be to ring anybody at 4am in the morning. Why is she not asleep or drunk? I know I'm a little mad, in fact I'm pretty sure most people are quite aware of that.

However, following that I'm quite convinced I'm the only sane person left.

Some interesting thoughts come out of working at this time of morning - not least of all questioning whether the other person in the office is even there. Which introduces a rather complex thought puzzle - if they aren't there, how do I get home each day? Maybe I'm not here at all either. Perhaps this place doesn't exist.

And then the walls start to disappear. Around this time it is probably quite a good idea to get a highly sugar based beverage quite quickly. Milo, where half the cup is milo and roughly the other half is milk will often do the job quite nicely. Why can't they just bottle the milo sludge? That's a product I'd buy. I could make it myself, but it's not easy to get just the right amount of sludge.

You also get bizzarre pleasures from things like milo sludge. That's best not explained, I think.

What I think is a great new idea - or it at least it is, because I only just discovered it, is "half baked breads". In this case the Four Square up the road sells finish off the baking at home type ciabata, pane di casa and something else. I'm quite fond of this for a couple of reasons. Hot bread is good (better than toast, although toast is good at 4am, especially with butter), and fresh is good. Good also is the fact that it's like making your own bread, but with virtually no hassle.

Bake for 15mins or so and then slice and you've got tasty bread slice. All food should be that easy.

(It may be worth noting that I've had "bake at home" rolls before. They were also tasty, but less slicing.)